Talk:Zig Novak/@comment-3575890-20140601151923
Zaya brought to you by the following messages: *Extremely Anti-Zaya post dead ahead. If you ship it, it’s probably best that you don’t read any further* Guys, if you like a girl and she repeatedly rejects your advances (you should have just left her alone the FIRST TIME she said NO you fucking asshole), keep forcing your feelings on her because eventually she will have to give into you. When girls say no, they really mean yes. Lol that's rich, Ziggy. Guys, if you like a girl but she’s going through some things, just take for granted the idea that she wants you even if she’s signified no such indication that she does, because you like her, so she HAS to like you too, and she will have to give into you. Also, if you offer to wait for her without her even asking you to, she MUST automatically date you! Lol look at Maya's face. I'm not making this shit up. Guys, if you like a girl but unintentionally played a role in the death of her boyfriend, it’s okay because if you apologize enough times and fish her cello out of the dumpster when she throws it away in a fit of grief-induced rage, she will reward you by dating you. Orrr maybe not. Lol Maya doesn't look very amused. Guys, girls are rewards for good behavior. As long as you play the Nice Guy card, they will give into you. It is also their obligation to love you after you have fucked up so as long as you do half-assed things here and there to compensate for your indiscretions. Actually, fuck that, supposedly you can be a complete dick and it won’t make a difference. Guys, if you like a girl and she does not return your feelings, rather than accepting that your feelings are not reciprocated and moving on, be sure to talk down to her, invade her personal space, sabotage her relationships, mock her, embarrass her, make it your goal to make her as miserable and uncomfortable as possible because she has a lot of nerve not wanting to date you. Guys, if a girl you like invites you into her home out of nothing but the goodness in her heart when you have nowhere else to go, be sure to show your gratitude by not showing it at all. Guys, if you like a girl, be sure to antagonize her boyfriend a whole lot and for good measure, spill his blood in the same spot that her former boyfriend’s dead body once lay. If you can’t have her, no one can. Guys, always go in for the kill immediately after she’s broken up with her boyfriend. If you’re lucky enough to get her on the rebound when she’s most vulnerable, you might be able to manipulate your way into her pants. Guys, if you like a girl, make sure you never allow her to be happy with anyone but you. If you don’t get to be happy, neither does she. Guys, even if it doesn’t work out, remember that she’s just damaged goods used up by you even if you’ve never actually dated her because just by virtue of you liking her, she is forever branded yours. Oh yeah, and the phrase, “I’m sorry” magically makes everything okay so go ahead and keep fucking up, because as long as you never forget those two words, you are always guaranteed the girl. This post has been approved by Princess Zigmund Crybaby Prissy Pants.